Home Defense Meme

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  • Last Post 26 August 2023
Captain posted this 18 August 2023

I've seen a few iterations of the "I own a musket for home defense..." meme around the internet, and I decided to adapt it for BattleTech:

I own an Atlas for home defense, because that's what General Kerensky intended.

Four pirates break into my hangar. "Curse you, pirate scum!" I yell as I grab my neurohelmet and power up my 'Mech.

Core the first one with my AC/20; he's dead on the spot.

Fire my missiles at the second; miss him entirely because they're long-range and nail my lancemate's Wolfhound.

I have to resort to the booby trap installed in my other lancemate's Stinger. "Surprise, you bastards!" The blast shreds two of them. The explosion and its attendant shrapnel finally set off alarms across the base.

Charge the last terrified pirate, fists flying, and crush his cockpit. He bleeds out waiting for help that never comes, because he's a pirate, so fuck 'im.

Ah, just as General Kerensky intended.

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Warhawk posted this 20 August 2023

If it were an Orion, then that would for Kerensky... Aaron DeChavelier (?) was the Atlas pilot who opened the way for Kerensky when they assaulted the Usurper's palace.

Captain posted this 24 August 2023

My choice was based on how it was Kerensky, himself, who ordered the creation of the Atlas: "A 'Mech as powerful as possible, as impenetrable as possible, and as ugly and foreboding as conceivable, so that fear itself will be our ally."

Prince posted this 26 August 2023

I think it needs more accidental harm or collateral damage to fit the nature of the joke- the OG meme had them firing the cannon loaded with Grapeshot and the shrapnel killing the neighbors dog and blowing out his eardrums if I recall right.

Captain posted this 26 August 2023

"...Draw my pistol on the second man. Misses him entirely because it's smoothbore and nail the neighbor's dog..." = Fulfilled by the wild LRM flight.

"...the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms..."

= The booby trap's detonation sets off alarms on the base.

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